
By: Pamela Pappas Stanoch
I recently conducted a session with a group of Chinese educators working in the USA for the next year. They are all working in Chinese Immersion Programs in the State of Minnesota. Our discussion started with the communication process, comparing the direct communicators in the USA to the more indirect communicators in China. The discussion led us to processing what it meant to the Chinese teachers and their students in China, and what seems to be lacking in the USA when working with American children.
The lead instructor of the group mentioned the three forms of learning when working in American schools: the USA way, the Chinese way and the Confucius way. I was intrigued by their response to the challenges the teachers face when working with American students. For example, American students raise their hands to ask questions and do not necessarily listen to the answers, demonstrating their need to be recognized and heard by the teacher. We spoke of leadership, directness and making sure your voice is heard in the USA. Children learn this at a very young age, and that is how you are valued both in the classroom in general and by your teachers.
The Chinese teachers then discussed the value of being quiet, demonstrating that you are listening and processing what is being said. That quietness demonstrates to others that you are thinking about what is being said and not reacting so quickly that you could not possibly have thoughtfully considered what you heard.
Added to this model of communication between the Chinese teachers and the American children is the value of quietness and listening. It is inherent in Confucius’s teachings and in Buddhism. In an interview with the lead teacher, she spoke of how quickly water moves if stirred. But, if it is left still, you can see what is in the water with greater clarity and depth.
We have an expression in English, “Still waters run deep”, but is it valued in US society and culture? Do we really value the student who is thinking and not participating at that moment? Do we value the person in a meeting who is a keen observer, one who absorbs information and applies that information in future engagements? Or, do we value those who are heard, who always have something to say, a response or a question, irrespective of how much value it adds to the discussion. Hearing your voice is often perceived as more important than listening to others.
Each of us learns these lessons very young in life. They are reinforced by our systems of education, by our parents, and by leadership roles in activities and business. Values are slow to change, and during the process of enculturation, placing value on others is a lesson we can and should be taught as well. They are as important as the skills that are being reinforced within the confines of our own culture.